


Clouds and sunbeams.

by Cinnamonsmellinautumn



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-02 22:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonsmellinautumn/pseuds/Cinnamonsmellinautumn
Summary: "It has been a long week. A freaking long week.Isak was dazing off in his cup of coffee, drooling over the table while pretending to make an effort not to actually fall asleep, right here, right now."Or: the one where beginnings aren't that simple. But maybe one day things will, surprisingly, turn around.Even if for now, everything seems either too still or too chaotic.Love, pain, encounters, surprises, deceptions, friendships, choices, realizations... Life.PS: I don't know how to summarize something that I'm in the process of writing, and where I might surprise myself by taking a different direction haha





	1. Coffee and rain

It has been a long week. A freaking long week. 

Isak was dazing off in his cup of coffee, drooling over the table while pretending to make an effort not to actually fall asleep, right here, right now. 

Everything was a blur around him: the sounds of conversations, the sound of spoons chinking in mugs, the echoes of the mouths chewing too hard. It was all too much. He felt his head grow bigger every second and wouldn’t even care if his brain exploded at this precise moment. It would be a mess though. But oh well. 

It was like he was in another dimension while everyone was actually going on with their daily lives. 

Soon enough, he heard a familiar voice that seemed to come from far away behind him: «Isak !». 

"Humm ?" He was so not here right now, that he almost did not even recognize his own name. The voice kept calling him, getting closer each time. 

Then he heard a chair being pulled out, a mug being, as it felt, smashed on the table, and suddenly fingers running swiftly threw his hair. 

«Wait what ?!» Isak said loudly, astonished, slowly regaining his consciousness while his left hand apparently knocked his cup of coffee down, which was still full, so it flowd everywhere, making his jeans dank and coffee dropping all over the table to the floor. Shit.  
He just wanted to curl into a ball and roll until he’d reach his bed.

«Fy faen bro !». Jonas was sitting in front of him, giving him a circumspect look while raising his dark and bushy eyebrows.  
«I.. I’m so sorry ! No no let me clean that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to.. Let me!» Isak was addressing to the waitress who came to their table to clean his mess. His face was flushed with shame as he tried to take the sponge out of the waitress hands. While he tried to get up from his chair, his right foot slipped on the pool of coffee spread out on the ground, and before he could even blink, he was lying on the floor, his head on the waitress’ shoe, and all of his clothes soaked with the coffee he never drinked. Well.  
That’s great. Great.

Jonas reached out two hands to help and get him up. As he was standing, he witnessed the waitress holding her foot, the one where Isak’s head previously smashed on. She seemed in pain, her mouth getting in weird shapes, trying to hide the fact that her foot was aching. 

But Isak wasn’t feeling anything. All of his body was sour as it was already before, so the mess he just made and his ridiculous fall didn’t make any difference, really.   
«Shit, shit.. H.. Here, let me see your foot... Shit I’m stupid I don’t..» Isak stuttered to the waitress.  
She pushed him away gently as he was kneeling down to look at her foot and just told him that she was okay, and please, please, just go, it’s okay.

So Isak rushed to the door, impatient of getting some fresh air in his lungs that would maybe, in some magical way, reconnect his brain a little.  
Jonas picked up his coat and Isak’s red snapback that he’d left on his chair, excused himself to the waitress, being embarrassed and all, and met Isak outside the coffee shop.  
It was pouring rain. A flow of water was running down the street between the pavement and the road.

Isak laughed hysterically. Jonas looked at him like he was the weirdest human ever. He might be. 

But Jonas laughed along, because Isak’s laugh was contagious, even though in this situation, he had no idea why he was laughing. 

Clearly, it was a nervous result to the chaotic scene that just happened in there.

«Dude, what the hell ! What happened here ? Have you slept at all last night ? You look like shit !». 

Isak was still clenching his stomach with his arms, laughing even more now. At least the rain would help washing his coffee damped jeans and all, he thought.

«Thanks for the compliment, Jonas !» Isak said in a faked cheery voice. Jonas looked at him with an ounce of worry starting to grow in his eyes. «Dude..»  
«I’m fine, I’m fine... I just want to go home right now». And as he said, they both went in the direction of Isak’s flat, even if Jonas was living in the opposite side of town. He didn’t want to leave his friend like that, in the middle of the street on a rainy thursday’s afternoon. And Isak wasn’t contesting it, apparently. 

-

So they walked silently until they reached the apartment.  
After climbing some stairs, they got to Isak's apartment door as it flood open at the same time.  
«Oh ! Hi Isak, little beam of sunshine!! Hi Jonas ! How are you guys ?» It was Eskild, kind of surprised to find them here. He's one of Isak’s roommates, and he's too happy for this world.  
Isak was looking jaded, all lost and wet as he walked passed Eskild and went straight to his room, slamming his door shut doing so. 

«That bad, huh ? What is it with him ?» Eskild asked.  
«I have freaking no idea. None at all. He’s been weird all week but even more today.» Jonas answered.

«Hmm.. I see.» Eskild was holding his chin between his thumb and his index, trying to look like he was in deep reflexion. 

He was used of Isak being grumpy and all, but he never saw him like that. 

«I’ll go talk to him in my guru mode, then.» He started to walk in the direction of Isak's room, but then he shifted right back and said:  
«Whoops no, I forgot I can’t right now, I was actually leaving... Guru Eskild will come back later then, I count on you to take care of him, huh ?» 

Jonas nodded with a small smile as he walked in the flat and waved Eskild goodbye. He went to Isak’s door and knocked a few times. 

No response.

«Isak ? Can I come in ? What’s up with you bro ?»  
«Isak ?» Jonas sighed. He knocked a couple more times.  
«Go away. Please, just go away I just want to sleep.» As he heard Isak’s answer, low and raspy, he let out an even longer sigh, turned away and headed to the living room, where Linn, well, he guessed it was her, hiding under a huge fluffy blanket where he could only see some red hair poking out of it, was apparently watching a movie. Or some dumb tv-show. She was another one of Isak’s roommates. Whatever, he sat up on the other couch next to the tv. 

He just stayed there. Waiting to see if maybe Isak will make his way to the kitchen and grab something to eat. Because he was always hungry.

Well, normally. 

But it was now almost midnight and there was no sign of Isak moving out of his room.

«Just check in on him, alright ?».  
«Linn ? Ok ?»  
Linn looked at him like she just noticed his presence in the room.

They did in fact not exchange a word before now.  
«On who ?», Linn asked.

«Isak, who do you think ? Why would I be here ?» Jonas said, exasperated.  
«Well I don’t know, what’s up with him ?»  
«No idea, he won’t talk, but just check in on him ok ? I’m gonna go now»  
«Ok, ok» she said, while drowning deeper into her blanket.

-

  
As Jonas was leaving the apartment and getting out in the street, he bumped into Eskild who was apparently getting home.

«Jonas ! You’re still here ?! How did it go with my sun ? Did he talk to you ?» He asked with a tipsy tone and actual wonder in his eyes.  
«No, I tried but it was useless, he didn’t even let me open his door so.. Yeah. He didn’t get out of his room all evening. Good luck with that.»

Jonas sighed.  
«See you later, Eskild, text me if there’s news.»  
«I will, I promise, bye Jonas !»

Then Jonas walked into the night and Eskild went home, while Linn was now sleeping on the couch in front of the tv, still turned on.

At the same time, Isak was repressing his tears, sitting down in his boxers on the ground of his dark bedroom, his back against his bed. 

His coffee smelling jeans, shirt and hoodie were thrown into a ball somewhere in the corner of the room. Or under the bed.

Anyway. 

He was not crying. Nope, nope. He never cries. 

He stared at his phone for a while, which projected a clear light to his face full of -non existing- tears, and, while taking a deep breath (or at least trying to), pressed send.

One second later, he was already regretting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok then, that's it for the first chapter.. Thank you for reading !   
> Kudos and comments are always welcome ! Let me know what you think, I'd be happy to hear from you.  
> It's my first attempt at writing fan fiction EVER (Skam got me here), I was not sure if I should do it or not.. But well, I felt like it.  
> So yeah.. Here we go ! Should I continue ?


	2. Don't you want me ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! Here's the second chapter ! :)  
> -  
> As you will see, it's taking place a month before the first one.. I'll jump back and forth in the first chapters, so the next one will be back to "present time" again, to what happened after Isak sent the text in chapter 1..  
> But for now, let's go back to a month ago, shall we ?  
> -  
> Have a nice read,  
> Cheers !

**_\- One month before -_ **

 

It was friday evening and Isak was lying in is bed, binge watching some tv show on his computer while eating leftovers. Well, not really leftovers, as he mostly borrowed food from Noora. His third roommate. Ok, ok, he kind of stole it without asking, but hey, she wasn't there for him to ask and he was hungry as hell. And too lazy to cook something.. So it was kind of an okay thing to do, right ? She wouldn't mind. Well.. Obviously, deep down, he knew she would actually mind, because it was not the first time he took food from her spot in the fridge. Last time she was pretty annoyed about it. She sort of told him to never stole her food again otherwise there would be consequences. Hum, yeah okay. Isak wasn't really scared of those hypothetical consequences, he said sorry and kind of brushed it of. But again, tonight he was hungry and she wasn't there, so he mindlessly took a tupperware full of nicely cooked pastas with vegetables and roasted chicken, peeled of the tag that was on it saying "NOORA'S FOOD, DON'T TOUCH. ISAK, I'M WATCHING YOU", laughed reading it, and put the tup in the microwave. It smelled delicious. 

Anyway, yeah, he ate while watching Narcos, half bored and half content to be alone in the apartment. It was quiet and nice this way. Not having to hear Eskild's loud music's sing along, or middle of the night's conversations Noora had with Eva, or being forced to sit with them in the living room and watch some 90's romantic movies. Of course he liked his roommates. Like, really, they were over all pretty much awesome. But a break from them is also oh so nice sometimes. He was ready to fully appreciate his evening alone. Chill time. 

But then he heard his phone buzzing on his nightstand. He reached out an arm to grab it and, as he saw the name of the person who texted him, let out an almost imperceptible sigh. Imperceptible, yes, but still here. 

 **_Emma, 21:08 :_ **  
_Hey honey !! There's a party going on at Sofia's, I thought we could go together. Can I come over in like 10 minutes and then we walk there ? It's not far from your place. See you soon <3_

Apparently he didn't have a choice. In her text there was both a question and an affirmation, so she clearly expected him to be on board with it, as usual. So he typed out a quick "ok can't wait" response and put his phone back where it was. Damn. Good bye to his quiet evening at home. He still had ten minutes before she got here, so he pressed played again and started watching a third episode. 

Soon, the doorbell rang. He lazily got up from his bed, wearing his blue checkered underwear and a plain white shirt, and headed to the front door. As he opened it, a cheery Emma, with her short brown hair and bright smile, stumbled across the door and pulled in for a soggy kiss. He quickly closed the door and responded to her embrace. As they kissed, his mind went blank. Again. He was used of kissing her. And used of shutting of his mind. Every single time. He didn't really know why actually. In fact, his body responded to her, closing their bodies together and deepening the kiss, all in a well practiced choreography that he was so used to repeat, over and over. 

He didn't think about it anymore, he just kissed her. Who wouldn't kiss their girlfriend though ? It was all very normal. Right ? He had to. So yes, he shut of his mind once again to stop his brain from over thinking everything, and to perform this little dance of lips and tongues and soft touches without freaking out. 

But then again, why would he freak out ? He was making out with one of the cutest girls of his school, with his girlfriend who loved him very much. Everything was fine. He was happy. They were happy. Happy and cute couple. In fact in a few days it will be their month anniversary. Apparently she already organized something to celebrate that. She was like that, everything was something worth celebrating and making a big deal out of. He was super happy too, of course. Or maybe he persuaded himself that he was. He just didn't quite understand why, every time he thought about his relationship, the knot in his throat grew bigger. He ignored it though, and kept smiling at her, kissing her with his eyes closed and his hands shyly holding on to her hips. 

Emma wanted more, as always, so she pushed him to the wall and started to really go for it. Isak continued his little dance and she seemed to like it. So he didn't stop, kissed along her neck down to her collarbones, hands clenching harder at her hips. She moaned quietly and then she brought her left hand firmly to Isak's crotch. 

And there it was happening again. His eyes went wide, but not for the right reasons. He stopped kissing her almost immediately, took a step to the right, trying to get out of it. She was still holding on to him, grabbing him by his neck and trying to pull him closer again. He gently shook her off, grabbing her arms, trying to make her loose her grip on him. He was shaking a little while avoiding her gaze. He moved further away until there were almost two meters keeping them apart. 

"Isak…" Emma said in her tiny hurt voice. "Why…. Why do you always.." She didn't even say a full sentence.

Her voice was broken, she was hurt and ashamed and her eyes were teary, looking straight into Isak's. It happened oh so often, every time she was getting too close to him, too intimate, every time she tried to go further, he jumped and looked startled and afraid.

"Don't you want me ? What is it ?? Am I not attractive to you or.. ? But then you kiss me like that ? I don't get it !" She said.

But Isak shrugged his shoulders and, with an awkward smile, responded his usual sentence:

"Of course I want you Emma, I just don't want to rush things, it's going so well, why don't we take our time ?" He honestly sounded like a broken record, but he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know what he was so afraid of. If even him didn't know, what could he say to her to make her feel better about it ? 

"Are you fucking kidding me Isak..! We've been together for nearly a month know, I think we already took our time, seriously !! Everytime I try, every time I touch you, you just jump and disconnect from me completely !! So.." Emma all but yelled with a trembling voice.

"But.. You.." Isak tried to talk, but she shut him off:

"No Isak, please don't keep telling me that you want me, that you want to be with me, and then react like that every single time. It's been too long and I'm growing fucking impatient. I've tried to be patient, Isak. I've tried. But I just don't get you and your mixed signals. Is… Is there someone else ? Did you meet another girl ? Am I repulsive ? What is it ?" 

Isak was shaking. He had no answers. No freaking answers. "Of course there's no one else Emma !! I'm with you ! We're good, I'm just.. just. I don't know. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I'm sorry. I'm a loser. A freak. I'm stupid, probably. I don't know. I don't…" Isak blabbered. 

They looked at each other. With a mix of distress and sadness in their eyes. Her eyes full of questions that he couldn't invent an answer for. He was truly sorry and he meant it. She stepped closer to him, gently brushing her hand to his face and softly pulling him into a hug. She whispered to his hear: 

"I'm sorry Isak. I don't want to rush you into doing anything you're uncomfortable with… I don't.. I just want our relationship to evolve.. I need this, I need to know you love me the way I love you. But I don't want to pressure you. I'm lost, I'm so lost.."

Isak tried to find words that would seem genuine, even though he felt like a spectator of his own life. "I'm the one who's sorry. I'll change I promise. You'll see. I'm sorry.."

And then he pressed his lips softly into her neck, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine, and whispered:

"Should we go to that party then?"

She made a small nod with her head with a little smile on her lips, but she seemed sad. However, Isak knew it would't last. He knew it all too well by now. Knew how he'll reassure her, how she won't try anything for a while, how they'll kiss until she'll try again. Until she'll be disappointed again. But for now, they could just go to that party. 

He wouldn't mind a drink or two by the way. So he let go of her and quickly went to his room to put on a pair of jeans and grab his phone and his jacket. He took the opportunity to send a quick text to Jonas, asking him if he'll go to that party. A few seconds later, he received his response: "Already here bro !! The party is lit, what are you waiting for ? Come on !" so he smiled while shoving his phone into his pocket, put his shoes on and met Emma by the door. 

"Let's go then !" he said. He closed the door behind them, and as they reached the street, put his arm around her waist. 

She smiled and leaned closer to him, and he felt like she already moved on from what had just happened. He was happy with that. It was all good, then. He could still ignore the little muted voice in the back of his head for a while. The voice that tried to screamed, to make him hear something. To make him understand. Acknowledge. 

Yep, ignoring it was fine. But deep down, he knew that he couldn't keep ignoring it forever. 

Anyway. It does not matter, because for now, it's all fine. For now, he just had to hold on her waist a little bit harder, smiling back at her. 

So, just like that, they made their way to the party. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you made it this far in my fic !  
> Feedback and kudos are always welcome <3


	3. (DON'T TEXT HIM)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter ! Sorry, I wanted to post it earlier..  
> Hope you like it..!

**Present time** (after chapter 1)

- 

 **Til E. (DON'T TEXT HIM), 00:48:** "I miss you."

 

Shit. _Double trouble shit._

Isak instantly face palmed himself, feeling so stupid once again. Why. Just why ? It was written right in front of him, he could obviously not miss his prior agreement with himself to NOT text Even, like, just look at his damn contact name you stupid face. _Are you blind ? Or do you just enjoy not keeping the promise you made to yourself to just stay away ?_ He knew he should have deleted his number when he first thought about it. Meaning what, 5 days ago ? But then he thought oh well, why not just put a warning next to his name ? _I'm not weak, I won't try to contact him, so what's bad about keeping his number.. Nothing, right ?_

He was now shaking, breathing fast and trying to think about how he could go back in time and not send that text. _"I miss you"_. Damn, who says that ? Only fools who care too much.. Only people too deep in lo… Nope. NOPE. He couldn't be. Because he didn't even know him that much. You can't care this way about someone you met only a month ago, that would be crazy. Obviously he wasn't feeling anything for him, he was just a few weeks crush at best. And actually, he sent that text as a joke. Yes. Right. _Funny Isak, you dumb face._

He had no idea what to do now. After walking around in his room for what felt like ages, he just threw himself on his bed, his body bouncing on it like an old potato bag and his face buried in his pillow. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. 

Oh, okay. Great. His pillow still kind of smelled like Even. Or was it ? It's been long enough now for the smell to disappear into thin air. He was probably just imagining it. Or maybe fantasizing it. Whatever, he didn't need this olfactive reminder triggering even more emotions right now. It was already enough for the day. 

Was it true that pillows muffled the sound enough so you could scream into it without anyone noticing ? He might as well try. So he screamed. Shyly at first, but then louder and louder until his throat hurts. It sort of cleared his mind a bit. He thought back to the stupid text he just sent. 

Ok. It wasn't that bad. He could come up with something to explain that this text was not meant for him. Or something. But he clearly knew that he tried to fool himself into believing there was a way out of this text situation, when really, there wasn't. What's sent is sent. He has to accept that he just made a mistake. Period. 

And by the way, Even won't reply, that's almost a certainty. So no big deal, since he won't even care. _He does not care about you, Isak._

With that thought, his heart was racing again. He felt nauseous. It was a mix of shame for feeling that way about a stupid text, and of pain for allowing someone to make him feel that way. For allowing him to step on him and crush every single bone in his body, stealing a piece of his soul along with it. Why did he let that happen.

He just felt too fast, dived in to deep, for finally being throwed away from too high and being left drowning in his own tears. _He doesn't care._

The tears from earlier that night left place for anger, shame and mostly just turmoil. He punched his bed, kicked his bedsheets away and agitated his arms and legs in despair. He must look like a total nut job right now. But since nobody was here to notice it, he just kept punching his mattress until his body felt numb and tired enough and that his anger let place to just plain and simple sadness. Again. This dull pain from his heart just washed over him. And he let it. He let it take over and cried himself to sleep. 

 

-

 

He woke up suddenly when his alarm set on his phone rang loudly in, what felt like, the middle of the night. When it was actually 7:30, but it's the same though. Without looking, he quickly brought an hand to his phone to shut the alarm. Did he have to go to school ? Did he really ? Because he would do anything right now to be able to just stay in bed, locked up in is room and never leaving the apartment ever again. 

He didn't feel like having anymore questions thrown at his face, about why he looked so tired this week, about what happened with Emma, about his absence from almost every pre game and party the last few weeks… He's been avoiding those questions for weeks now, and he wanted to keep avoiding them. He always came up with some excuse about family emergencies and whatever problem he could think off to just make them stop asking those damn questions. 

Of course, they meant well, they cared about him. He knew that Jonas was beginning to really worry, and Isak noticed that he stayed there until midnight last night. He actually felt bad for being such a shitty friend to him lately, when all Jonas did was being there for him. But as he couldn't even begin understanding things for himself at the moment, he wouldn't really be able to explain what happened to them. It was too early. And he was not in good shape or state of mind to talk to them right now. There's too many things to say. Or maybe not that much, but it felt like a all lot. 

Also, he was afraid. Even if deep down, he knew that one day, soon enough, he'll have to face it, face them, and tell them all about him and "that guy".

 

Thinking of him made him think back to the text he sent last night and the chaos it created in his head. Actually, after all his anger and sobbing mess from last night, he did, for once this week, sleep quite well. Not really surprising as he was probably really exhausted from all his over thinking and blinding emotions. But it felt good to have a few hours of sleep in a row. While drained and emotionally tired, he felt rested enough to finally build up the courage to get up from his bed and head to the shower. He was still smelling of coffee, for sure. So the shower wasn't really an option today, and maybe it will manage to make him look less tired ? As if. 

After he came back from the bathroom and while putting fresh clothes on, his phone buzzed on his nightstand. Holding the shirt he was about to put on under his armpit, he headed to grab the phone, his heart beating faster with each step and his hands starting to shake at the prospect that, maybe, the text was from Even…

_Stop being so naïve, he doesn't care about you or your text, he probably deleted it without looking at it._

Unlocking his phone, he saw straight away that it was Sana who had texted him. He chuckled nervously, feeling oh so stupid for hoping, even for a second, that it would have been a response from Him.

 

 **Sana, 7:53:** Hei there biology buddy, don't forget to bring your part of the assignment, today is the due date, as I'm sure you remember ! See ya *emoji face with sunglasses*

 

 _Oh crap._ Isak totally forgot about this assignment. He forgot everything about school and classes lately. It was clearly not the number one thing on his mind. He didn't even care anymore to be honest. 

But if he doesn't do his part of the biology assignment, Sana will give him shit and he will feel even more bad about himself. Also, if there's one class he shouldn't fail, it must be biology. He always had good grades and genuinely liked it, and he sort of thought that maybe, he will go into that field of studies after high school, so yeah, it's pretty important for him to keep up with it. 

Damn, how will he achieve to finish it when he didn't even start it yet ? He looked at his desk to find the paper for the assignment, and looked at the 5 questions he needed to answer. It seemed pretty hard and he'll have to go into detail, making diagrams and stuff. Oh dear.. He finished getting dressed, shoved the paper and some textbooks into his backpack, put on his shoes and snapback and headed out of the apartment to catch his tram to school. 

 

-

 

He knew he will probably be able to manage to do his biology questions in time, hopefully, because on friday he has a free period after his first class and a two hours lunchtime, so that will give him three full hours to get it done. Well, normally he would be able but in his current state he wasn't totally sure. He'll just have to think only about it and not about anything else. Clear is mind of anything non related to biology. _Easy._

After his norwegian literature class, where he almost felt asleep as always, he headed to a quiet spot near the library (he never actually went inside the library, he's not a total nerd you know, he preferred instead sitting uncomfortably against a wall.. he was weird like that). He got his biology textbook and assignment out of his backpack and started searching and writing answers down. He felt nervous, running against the clock like that. Normally it would have been finished a few days ago. But not now. 

So he got as much done as it was humanly possible, biting his pen with every hesitation about what would be the right answer, and soon the loud ringing dragged him out of it. He quickly shoved his work in his backpack again and went to his next class. He was nearly done with the first two questions so he felt pretty confident that he'll finish it all by the end of lunch. He felt so tired now though, but he looked passed it. 

 

When the alarm went on after lunch break, signaling him that he had to head towards his biology class, he had managed to write down the final words and to draw the last diagram of his assignment. He actually had done it and felt relieved. Not that he knew if it was actually good, but he's done it. That's what mattered. 

After class begined, they had half an hour to go through their answers together, they rearranged some sentences and corrected a few mistakes, but overall they pretty much nailed it. Obviously they'll have to wait for the grade and correction, but Isak had a good feeling about it since Sana just high fived him, looking satisfied with their work. They handed their assignment after writing down their name on it, then the class went on. Isak's prior focus vanished gradually throughout the rest of the hour. 

He noticed Sana sometimes glancing at him from his side, but she never made him any reflexion about his appearance, neither asking him any questions. He was glad. He really liked Sana, they got closer this last year and she knew Isak enough by now to know that he did not want to speak. She respected that. And he did the same with her. 

 

Somewhere between the last ten minutes of class, his phone light on on their desk.

He didn't notice it at first, as he was half asleep while trying to take notes, but then he noticed Sana's eyes, looking to his phone then back at him with an interrogative gaze.

He straightened up a little on his chair, wondering why Sana stared at him like that, and then slowly directed his eyes to his phone.

 

It felt as his heart stopped right in the middle of his biology class. 

His hands began to tremble and he could feel the red rising to his cheeks. 

He looked back at Sana, who had an eyebrow raised at him, questioning him in silence. He avoided her gaze and just stared at his shaky hands instead. 

When the alarm announcing the end of class ringed, he stand up so quickly that he almost fell back on his chair, feeling dizzy.

He grabbed his stuff from the desk, shoved his backpack on his shoulder and ran to the door, his breathing becoming difficult. 

 

 **E. (DON'T TEXT HIM), 14:56:** "I'm sorry Isak. I miss you too."

 

-

 

 **E. (DON'T TEXT HIM), 15:01:** "So much that it hurts."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !  
> I would be so glad to read your comments on this, as it's my first fic, I'd love to have some feedback <3  
> Also, kudos and bookmarks always make me happy, yay !  
> Have a great day :)


End file.
